


The Best I've Ever Had

by wednesdays__child



Series: Mad World [5]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, First Time, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Self-Doubt, bad language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:15:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8191561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wednesdays__child/pseuds/wednesdays__child
Summary: Life goes on for Aaron Hotchner. Where does he go from here without a job and without his team?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Part 5 of Mad World. 
> 
> Spoilers through end of Season 11. 
> 
> Unbetaed - sorry. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Title from the song "Mad World" by Gary Jules.

*************  
_  
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. - Edgar Allan Poe_

Spencer had given him six weeks before Hotch was climbing the walls, looking for something to do. 

It took him just over four.

He'd spent some time fixing things around the apartment and spending time with Jack, just doing little things at home. He tried to help out Jessica the same way she'd helped him even though Roy was giving him hell about losing his job. The older man was declining quickly, losing more of himself every day but he never seemed to forget his hatred of Hotch.

Dave took him out to lunch a few times, trying to meet up at least once a week, and they talked - really talked like friends again and not colleagues It was nice, even if the older man always tried to get information out of him about his relationship with Spencer.

Morgan called two days after 'the night of regretable drinking' as Aaron was calling it in his head. The former agent invited him golfing, so he and Derek had been out twice a week on the links every week since then. They were enjoying each others company, being out in the sun, not worrying about being interrupted by a call sending them away - time to find another killer, another kidnapper, another monster. 

Some time during the third week, Aaron asked Derek how he was doing with his time off. He'd tried for casual, but he knew from Derek's face that he hadn't succeeded. 

"I've been focusing on my renovations," Morgan had answered, "But I miss it, you know? I don't miss being gone for days on end or the calls in the middle of the night, but I miss the team. I miss putting the bad guys away. Sometimes it's so bad it makes me itch, man."

Aaron nodded as he listened to Derek before teeing up his ball. After his swing, he turned to his former co-worker. "What if I found a way?"

"A way to what?"

"A way to help put the bad guys away."

Aaron stood completely still while Derek studied him. Finally, the younger man nodded before teeing up himself. "Tell me more."

So Aaron went to work putting his plan into action. First, he contacting some of his old colleagues who were still in law, asking them if they would be interested in his services. Then he started researching, needing to find out how to do what was necessary just to get started. 

One day, as luck would have it, he and Jack went for a walk and found a small storefront in the business district. Jack loved it, it was in between a bookstore and a coffee shop, and had lots of natural light. Aaron got the number for the realtor and called that day for a tour. After he'd signed the lease, he contacted another attorney friend to start filling out the paperwork for a business license.

That was how, less than twelve weeks after he'd left the FBI, Aaron Hotchner stood before a door that proclaimed the office within as Hotchner and Associates. Derek smiled as Hotch handed him a set of keys and, together, they walked in. They already had a case, thanks to a former associate of Aaron's that wanted help on a high profile murder case. Penelope had agreed to moonlight and help them with the displays and graphics, but he and Derek would prep the witnesses and help with jury selection. Aaron would also review the case and help with opening and closing arguments as well as lines of questioning.

It felt good. They could do something good on their own terms in their own way. Aaron felt a sense of satisfaction begin to settle into his soul.

As he finished setting up the office for the day, he looked up as the door swung open and Spencer walked in with Jack trailing in behind him. 

"Pretty Boy!" Derek shouted as he looked up from his computer. "Wondered if we were going to see you today."

"Wouldn't miss your first day," Spencer said as he hugged his best friend. Then he turned that brilliant smile on Aaron and the older man practically melted. "Jack said we needed to come by and make sure you weren't freaking out."

"I'm not freaking out!" Aaron protested, although in reality, even he could admit he was kinda freaking out. He'd had several minor freakouts over the last few weeks. First it was breaking out into this new venture. Then it was dipping into the money he said he didn't want to touch to outfit the office, pay for getting the business started and getting the best equipment he could for them. 

Then it was Spencer. 

Spencer who was over at their place almost every night he was in town, fixing meals and helping Jack with homework. Spencer who took the bottle away from him when he reached for another drink when he'd already had one or two. Spencer who helped him research and come up with a solid business plan. Spencer who stayed some nights and held him through his nightmares. Spencer who let them go as slow as he needed, taking all of this at the speed he wanted. 

He wanted, oh how he wanted, but he still had so many insecurities about himself but Spencer was slowly destroying every one. When he complained that he was too old, Spencer took him out for a run to prove that age didn't mean stamina or physical ability. When he complained that he was broken, Spencer recalled stories of their lives, what they had seen, things they had done, and how they had both come out on the other side. When he protested that he wasn't as attractive as the younger man, Spencer silenced him with kisses that curled his toes and left him breathless. When he complained about his scars making him ugly, Spencer sucked and licked every single one until he was a trembling, horny mess. When he worried that he'd never been with another man, Spencer talked him through every step on how to pleasure him with his hands and his mouth, taking pleasure in demonstrating everything he did and wanted done to him. 

Aaron didn't know what he'd done to deserve Spencer and all that the younger man had done for him - and to him, but he wasn't going to let it go, not this time.

He smiled and admitted, "Okay. Maybe I'm freaking out a little."

They all laughed before Rossi walked through the door.

"Uncle Dave!" Jack shouted, running toward the older profiler.

"Hey, Jack my boy!" Dave shouted as he hugged Jack before looking up at Hotch. "Are we ready to go?"

"Go where?" Derek asked.

Spencer blushed, gently toeing the ground with his purple Chucks. "Surprise congratulations party at Rossi's?"

"Spencer," Aaron reprimanded lightly. He'd told Spencer he didn't want to make a big deal about all this but now it seemed like it was too late. Instead of being angry, Hotch simply stepped forward and pulled the younger man to him, taking Spencer face in his hands, before pressing a kiss to Spencer's soft lips.

"About damn time," Derek mumbled as Dave and Jack chuckled.

*************

The party was a standard Rossi affair, with lots of good food and good drink. The team was all there including the newest additions. It was good to see Prentiss again. Aaron was pleased to hear that she had agreed to come back and fill in after he'd left. She didn't seem to hold any grudges against Aaron when she found out he hadn't recommended her to replace him as Unit Chief. Not that he didn't trust her. She'd had plenty of experience between both the FBI and Interpol, but Hotch had recommended JJ to take over until someone else could step in. He knew Rossi would refuse, not just from the man's laid-back attitude, but also from the eldest profiler's desire to spend time rebuilding his newly renewed relationship. JJ understood what needed to be done, could handle the paperwork and held the respect of many of the other divisions. Cruz had smiled when Hotch made the suggestion and it had quickly been accepted. 

The newest addition, Alvez, seemed nice enough, even if Penelope seemed to be keeping her distance from the man. The technical analyst did not like change and there had been a lot in the past year. Aaron wondered, not for the first time, how much longer she would stay at the BAU. He considered extending his offer for permanent employment once more, but decided to wait. She'd let him know when the time was right.

As they sat down to eat, questions were asked about the new business and Aaron and Derek answered them as best they could. There was plenty of teasing and laughter. The children played happily while Hank and Michael were passed around and fawned over. 

As dessert was being served, Aaron reached over to grab Spencer's hand underneath the table. When Spencer turned to smile at him, Emily gaped at him before asking, "Are you two..?"

Before she could finish her question, Hotch leaned forward to capture Spencer's lips with his own.

When he pulled back, he turned to the gaping faces at the table around him. "Are we what?"

Spencer had his head down, his cheeks flushing a bright crimson as the table burst out in laughter and congratulations. Aaron pulled him in close and enjoyed the family around them.

Eventually, it started to get late and everyone was getting ready to leave. Aaron called for Jack, who happily joined his father before asking, "Can I stay the night at Henry's? He got a new game for his X-Box that I want to play. Please Dad! I already asked Miss JJ and she said it was okay with her if it was okay with you."

Aaron looked up and JJ was standing behind his son. She nodded with a soft smile on her face so he knelt down and said, "Okay. It's alright with me."

"Yay!" Jack yelled as he darted forward to hug his father. "Thanks Dad!"

"Thanks JJ," Spencer said as he hugged her close.

"Enjoy yourself," she whispered before throwing a smirk and small wink at Aaron. "I'll be sure to text before I bring him back to you guys, just to make sure you're up." 

Hotch chuckled as he dropped his head to hide his blush. but he knew it was too late. JJ giggled as she turned to walk out, Henry and Jack already bouncing out the door in front of her with Will, all three men chatting happily toward the car. 

"Take me home, Aaron," Spencer whispered in his ear. 

Aaron had never moved so fast in all his life. 

*************

As they stepped into Aaron's apartment, Spencer quickly pinned the older man to the wall next to the door, slamming it quickly with his foot. Aaron reached over and locked the deadbolt by feel without ever pulling his lips away from Spencer's tempting mouth. Keys were dropped onto the small side table before shoes were quickly kicked off. 

"Set the alarm and come to bed, Aaron," Spencer whispered against his lips before pushing away from the wall.

Aaron quickly complied, punching the code in before racing down the hallway after his prey. Once he reached the bedroom, he froze, staring at the beautiful prize before him. Spencer was standing in the middle of his bedroom, completely naked, in all his glory. Aaron looked his fill, amazed at the long expanses of pale flesh and lean, toned muscles. The light smattering of hair over the slim torso led down to a perfect little treasure trail to a proud cock that stood out, already hard and leaking. The sight made Aaron's mouth water.

"You are entirely too well dressed for this event, Mr. Hotchner," Spencer teased as he sauntered up to the older man. Aaron groaned softly as long, artful fingers began to undress him.

"Think you can help me with that situation, Dr. Reid?" he teased back.

"Most definitely."

Shirt and pants fell to the floor in a heap, swiftly followed by socks and boxers. Once he was completely naked, Aaron pulled his lover to him, reveling in the feeling of the long line of naked flesh against his own. This was the first time they had both been fully stripped down together, the first time they had been all alone to enjoy each other completely. 

Aaron was grateful, not for the first time, that they were practically the same height. This way he could roll his hips and rub their eager erections together, making them both gasp and groan at the delicious sensation. Spencer gasped at the feeling and he took advantage of the open mouth, dipping his tongue inside, tasting and teasing, loving the feeling of being with this man.

Twining his fingers through chestnut curls, Aaron deepened the kiss before stepping backwards slowly until he felt his legs hit the bed. He let himself tumble backwards, taking the other man with him as they bounced onto the bed's soft surface. 

Spencer quickly moved so Aaron could scramble up to the head of the bed before the younger man draped himself over the strong body beneath him. Braced on his arms, Spencer hovered over him, hazel eyes staring into his own. 

"What do you want, Aaron?" Spencer asked softly, his voice soft and breathy. 

"I want you, Spencer." He meant it. He was ready. It was time. Spencer smiled softly as he reached for the drawer of the bedside table, dipping inside to find the tube they had hidden there. He slicked up his fingers and as he moved his hand to reach behind himself, Aaron stopped him, grabbing his wrist firmly.

"No, Spencer, " he whispered. "I want..." 

Spencer stared at him, shocked by what his lover was asking, or trying to ask for. "Okay," the younger man whispered, a soft smile on his face. "You're sure?"

"Yes," he answered. "Please."

He was graced with a brilliant smile before lips descended on his own. The kiss was searing and Aaron couldn't help but melt into the man pressing down on him. Slowly, Spencer made his way down, licking and nipping as he went. Kissing the pulse point before grazing his teeth across the prominent collarbone. He paused at Aaron's left nipple, sucking on the sensitive nub before biting gently, causing the older man to buck his hips in desperation.

"Spencer," he groaned, drawing out the name even as he threaded his fingers in the soft curls, holding his head in place. He stayed put for a minute longer, drawing out the torture before travelling down further, dipping his tongue into hallow of Aaron's navel before continuing down to lick at the head of the needy cock before him. 

He was already on edge so when he felt a single, slick finger slide behind his balls as Spencer's sinful lips wrapped around the head of his cock, he had to take a deep breath to remain in control. When the slick digit circled his hole, Aaron gasped and bucked his hips into the warm depth surrounding him. Spencer gently placed a hand on his hip to hold him down as he slowly sank down on Aaron's length while breaching him with a single finger. It was an odd sensation and Aaron groaned as he tried to decide whether he liked it or not. He let Spencer continue when the younger man took his cock even deeper in his mouth and hummed lightly. 

"Yes," he whispered, gently encouraging his lover. 

Once he was used to a single finger, Spencer grabbed the lube and slicked up two fingers before delving back inside. Aaron's back arched at the stretch, the pull. It hurt but not in a way he expected. He was just about ready to ask Spencer to stop when fingers curled and it felt like every nerve in his body was electrified. 

"Fuck!" he shouted, he muscles straining and his back arching.

"That's the idea," Spencer purred as he licked a long stripe up the hard cock before him. "Just relax, Aaron. Let me take care of you."

He tried his best to do as Spencer asked. He felt lost in the sensations as he was alternately stretched and teased, long, strong fingers brushing his prostate before parting and playing him like a beautiful instrument. Then there was more lube and another finger added, stretching him even more. 

Finally, after what seemed like an hour but was more likely just minutes, Spencer was pulling his fingers free and moving up to lean over him. 

"Are you ready for me, Aaron?"

The words seemed to stick in his throat so he simply nodded, letting himself get lost in the desire shining at him. When Spencer reached for the bedside drawer again to grab a condom, Aaron stopped him.

"Can we not?" he asked, hoping Spencer would understand what he was asking without having to say the words. "Please."

Spencer studied his face for a moment, taking in the man beneath him before he came to a decision. He leaned down and took Aaron's mouth in a blazing kiss that left his breathless. "Okay," he whispered before kneeling up between the toned, muscled thighs surrounding him.

Aaron watched with intense amazement as Spencer quickly slicked up his long, hard cock before dropping the tube on the bed at his hip. Steadying himself on one arm, he positioned himself at the stretched, needy hole before pressing in slowly. Both men groaned as he was breached, steady and sure. Spencer didn't stop until he was fully seated inside his lover. 

They stayed that way, locked together, sharing breath as they tried to gain control. Slowly, Aaron opened his eyes to see strained hazel staring at him, the hardest, most intense look he had even seen on Spencer. It frightened him.

"Spencer?" he whispered, unsure what they younger man was thinking. Why was he stopping? Had he done something wrong?

Suddenly, Spencer gasped, as if he had forgotten how to breathe.

"Christ, Aaron," he groaned, the words strained. "You are so fucking amazing. Do you even know? How could you? So tight, so good, so perfect. All for me. Only for me."

"Yes," Aaron agreed, suddenly relieved. Quickly, he brought his knees up, trying to pull his lover in closer. Spencer gasped at the change in position as he was pulled in even deeper, his hips bucking and brushing the head of his cock against Aaron's prostate.

"Fuck!" Aaron shouted, the sound made even more obscene by the gravel in his voice. After that, it was followed by a stream of babbled words that he had seemingly no control over as Spencer pulled out slowly before slamming in, pushing into the man beneath him at a punishing rate. Aaron's hands flew up, reaching, searching for skin, for flesh, for any part of Spencer to ground him in this moment. His legs came up further until he could hook his ankles together around Spencer's back, holding him close, locking him in. 

Spencer leaned down, kissing him again, lips, teeth, tongue, marking him, taking him, reminding him who was taking him, who owned him, body and soul. They shared breath, hard and harsh as instinct took over and they rolled and thrust and arched together. Much too soon, Aaron felt the pull in his thighs, the familiar need that began to coil his belly, ready to burst forth.

"Spencer," he groaned, arching further off the bed. "So close."

"Yes," Spencer answered, his hips stuttering as his was close to his end. "Come for me, Aaron. Come for me, now!"

Aaron felt his back bow and, as if on command, he felt his entire world narrow to the cock in his ass and the pulsing of his dick as he came harder than he ever had in his life. He felt his lover thrust deep inside him, once, twice, then once more before Spencer was shouting his release, the sound bouncing off the walls and reverberating in his head.

It took several minutes for the two lovers to catch their breath, to move, to do more than clutch each other and wait for the world to right itself around them. When Spencer tried to move off him, Aaron held on even tighter, not willing to let this moment go, not yet.

"I must be crushing you," was softly whispered into his hair. 

Aaron chuckled softly. "You greatly overestimate how much it takes to crush me."

They both laughed at that but they stayed where they were, tangled around each other, for several more minutes before Spencer finally lifted his head, looking down into Aaron's dark, half-lidded eyes. His expression was serious and Aaron held his breath, waiting to for the other shoe to drop.

"Thank you."

"What?" he asked, confused by the younger man once again.

"Thank you," Spencer said again, his expression just as serious as the first time he'd said it. "That was a gift, Aaron. I've never...you are fucking amazing."

Suddenly, the words sunk in and made sense to Aaron's post-coital brain. He wanted to ask but this didn't seem to be the moment. They both had an evening of firsts and that caused a warmth to blossom in his chest. 

"You're fucking amazing," he countered instead.

"Fine," Spencer replied, his voice light and lilting as he pressed a gentle kiss behind his ear. "We're both fucking amazing."

"Yes. Yes we are."

Finally, Spencer pulled away from him, slipping out of his used body with a groan, before slipping out of the bed and heading toward the bathroom. He returned with a warm, wet cloth and began to gently clean Aaron. The older man hissed slightly as the cloth passed over his hole, surprised at how tender he felt. 

Once he had them both cleaned and dried, Spencer settled in at his side, pillowing his head on the older man's shoulder. Aaron pulled him closer, burying his nose in the sweet smelling, still slightly sweaty locks.

"I never thought..." he started, unable to get the rest out. It was stuck in his throat.

"Never thought what, Aaron?"

"I don't know. That we'd ever get here. That you would be with me. That I'd ever be happy again."

They stayed like that for a long time, letting that hang between them.

"You're happy?" Spencer asked.

He thought about it and came to a startling realization.

"Yeah." he answered, smiling as he pulled the blankets up and over them both, settling down to sleep. "I am."

_They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for. - Tom Bodett_

__  
**END**

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I got it finished before Hotch left the show so this storyline didn't get derailed anymore than it was originally. This totally took a different direction than I had originally planned but I love how it turned out. I have one more installment in mind as a little epilogue. I got asked if I would be revisiting this 'verse and I might be willing to see what the future has in store for these boys if there is enough interest.
> 
> And hey! I wrote a sex scene!! That hasn't happened in a long time. Woohoo!


End file.
